Good News and Bad News

I saw the podiatrist yesterday for my MRI results. He walked into the room and said, "Well, I have good news and bad news."

And I said, "Wow, doctors really SAY that?"

Good news, according to him: No obvious tendon tears, tumors or other gross abnormalities. Just some fluid on some tendons and in the subtalar (ankle) joint.

Bad news, according to him: There's no obvious answer to my problem, and he still recommends a cortisone shot.

Good news, according to me: There's no obvious tendon tears, tumors or other abnormalities.

Bad news, according to me: There's fluid on my posterior tibial tendon, the one that is involved in the degenerative PTTD condition that I mentioned. This podiatrist and the radiologist deemed that fluid normal, but I don't think so. Not considering that that's where my pain is.

My take on the situation now is that I have early PTTD, and since it's a rare condition in my age group and demographic, not many doctors have seen it. I'm hoping that when I go to Mass General on Tuesday, that that doctor is very familiar with PTTD so I can get some answers.

The more I've learned about PTTD, the more I've realized that it's not the surgery itself that is so scary, although it is extensive. What's troubling is the many months of "conservative care" that most doctors put you through first: casts, crutches, walking bracing, cortisone shots. Which to me equals several months more of SUFFERING with this ankle. I can deal with crutches and all that if I am healing, but if it's just to put off the inevitable surgery, that's harder to take.

I'm very happy that, if I do have PTTD, it seems to be in the early stages. I'm glad there are no tumors or anything potentially fatal. I'm glad my next appointment is only four days away. I'm glad I get to impress my boys by telling them I'm going to see the Red Sox's foot/ankle surgeon. And yeah, they are VERY impressed by that. Let's hope he impressed ME when I finally meet him.

Come Holy Spirit

Have you ever gone to church and felt that the priest’s sermon was written just for you? That happened to me on Sunday. The topic was patience.

Patience and trust have become my words for 2008. Patience to get my foot back into working order, and trust that I can get through this, and that all of it will be for good in the end.

Last month a had a surgeon advise me to go ahead with tendon repair surgery on my ankle or first put a walking cast on for six weeks to see if that helps. I went for a second opinion, and that doctor didn’t think it was a tendon at all.

Trouble is, while waiting for my second opinion I talked with my physical therapist. He is the owner of the clinic, a senior, well-certified guy, and with his advice I did some *ahem* weight training. And I think I hurt my ankle worse than it was to begin with.

I have on this stupid Cam Walker air-cast brace thingy. Although it is more comfortable than a plaster walking cast would be. My ankle hurts, a deep burning sensation. Today was hard because my other “good” foot is killing me. Chasing my two year old = pain.

My aunt’s podiatrist, whom I saw for the second opinion, turned out to be a cool guy. Even though I told him I’m going to Mass General for a third opinion, he agreed to order a MRI with contrast, on his hospital’s super 3.0T machine, and to do some weight-bearing X-rays, which he couldn’t believe no one had done before now. I had the MRI Monday, and I go in for the results and the X-rays tomorrow. This way, when I go to Mass General on Tuesday, I will have these results in-hand. A lot of doctor’s would have blown me off as soon as I told them I was going to someone else. He didn’t do that. He decided to help me, and I’m very grateful.

I’m also very apprehensive to get the results. One of my fear's is PTTD, which would mean my arch is collapsing and I’d need foot reconstructive surgery. My other foot could have the same thing. So tomorrow is the Big Day in terms of a diagnosis.

Of course when I got home from the MRI Monday, I popped the CD right into my computer to take a look. There’s a big bright spot that wasn’t there in January on my first MRI, and the bright spot goes right through my ankle joint. Since I’m not a radiologist, I don’t know what that is, but I know it’s where my pain is.

So back to church: Sunday, the priest talked about patience, and how we all get impatient. He suggested that when we find ourselves waiting, we should pray, “Come holy spirit.” I’ve been saying “Come holy spirit” a lot under my breath this week. Sometimes through tears.

I also keep reminding myself that God loves me, and I try to trust Him to take care of this, and to trust that good things will come of it. I also keep this running list in my mind of things that would be worse than what I’m going through. But I’m not so sure that last one helps. Perhaps a list of things I can do with my kids while sitting down would be more useful.

Mom Central Blog Tour: Cranergy Energy Juice Drink

Hey, how are you? It's been a while. I have had some ups and downs with my ankle. Looks like it will be several weeks in a walking boot, then a visit to a few doctors in Boston during May and June to see if I can get the same diagnosis twice. One of the diagnoses floating around is PTTD, a degenerative disorder requiring major surgery and possibly involving both feet. Fun times!

One bright spot this week was an opportunity to sample Ocean Spray's new energy juice drink, Cranergy. I like cranberry juice, but not the stuff that's full of high fructose corn syrup, and even the 100 percent cranberry juice is a bit cloying for me. So I don't buy it regularly.

I'm also not usually an "energy drink" fan, per se. Oftentimes energy drinks are full of caffeine or different herbs that I'm not sure I want to consume and that I certainly don't want my kids drinking. At least not before I consult with an herbalist, like that's gonna happen.

We received Cranergy in the "cranberry lift" flavor, and I did enjoy it. A 12 ounce bottle has just 50 calories, thanks to Splenda. The energy part comes from some B vitamins (70 percent of your daily niacin, B12, B2, B6 and pantothenic acid), as well as some green tea extract. I imagine the green tea adds caffeine, however I've heard from health gurus such as Andrew Weil and Mehmet Oz that the caffeine in green tea is gentler on the body than the caffeine found in coffee. The only con that I can see is that they've added some coloring, Bue 1 and Red 40. That's a pet peeve of mine. But I'm no purist, so it's not a deal breaker for me.

So! I liked it. It is light, but doesn't taste watered down. It's sweet, but not too sweet, and usually I find Splenda-based drinks way too sweet. My six-year-old son liked it too. His review consisted of a long giggle before he exclaimed, "Love it!" It's a nice new option for fans of cranberry juice.

Like Mamma Mia!? Like Singing? This is THE CONTEST for you.

Mom Central has asked me to help spread the word about a new contest for fans of singing karaoke and winning lavish free trips to London.

Wait, let me start over. From the press release:

Pond's has partnered with the big screen remake of Mamma Mia!, staring Meryl Streep and coming to theaters this summer. Women 40 and older are invited to form a singing trio to perform their own take on the classics "Mamma Mia" or "Dancing Queen" and submit videos of their performances via the Pond's website, which also houses music and lyrics you can download to rehearse.

It's like American Idol for grown ups, but designed for amateur karaoke enthusiasts who just love the music from Mamma Mia! Add two friends and a digital camera recorder, and you're in business! The winners of the contest will win a lavish trip to London to live the life of three Dynamos at the world premiere of Mamma Mia! Check out the Pond's site for more information. The deadline for submissions is April 30th.

This is one contest that I won't enter, considering that I can't sing, am not yet 40 and have never seen Mamma Mia! But I know some of you are much more adventurous and talented than I am. And, um, older. Heh. Just kidding.

My only request is that if you enter, you must let me see the video. Good luck!

Roster of Successes

Last week I succeeded in:

• Taking physical therapy as far as it will go, realizing once and for all that it will not heal my ankle. My tendon has “issues” that stretching, strengthening and ice will not solve.

• Making the mental connection between my aunt’s Achilles tendon injury and my own, thus realizing that I may qualify for the new, knife-free treatment that she successfully underwent. It’s a painful needle but that’s better than a painful knife, right? She’s calling her podiatrist today to see if he can hook me up with the awesome,e trailblazing docs over at Tufts Medical Center. I have a good feeling about this. (If you're googling "tendon injuries" and want to know what I'm talking about, start at the Total Tendon site. They don't list anyone in the Boston area, which is why I'm having to go through my aunt, who had the procedure.)

• Annoying my foot/ankle doctor by asking too many questions and bringing up treatment options not on his menu.

• Finding some seated aerobics videos. I know, right?! And, ouch, my arms hurt.

• Cleaning the boys’ room so that it doesn’t have piles of books, toys, dust bunnies and various collected trash on the beds, flat surfaces, and every inch of floor. And it only took me about 1 ½ hours. Major victory.

• Launching my new self-improvement venture, in which I will eliminate all the complaining, criticizing and negativity that comes out of my mouth. I used to think I was a positive person but, boy, was I wrong. Until now.