100 Things

1. I first knew I liked writing in the second grade, when I wrote a short story about elves and missing Christmas cookies, and my teacher read it to my class.
2. I had to leave the room, I was so embarrassed.
3. For years, I hunted through my papers, hoping to find the story, but I never did.
4. My high school teachers often read my papers to the class.
5. This represents the one notable achievement of my secondary school career (besides graduation).
6. Sometimes, people describe me as outgoing, or intelligent.
7. That surprises me.
8. In college, I majored in journalism and minored in political science.
9. I once worked as a news correspondent for the Worcester Telegram & Gazette covering local town meetings.
10. I hated it.
11. I was also the World's Worst Telemarketer.
12. I've had the most success as an editor.
13. At 35, I decided to earn all my income from writing.
14. I’m earning no income whatsoever.
15. My most obvious Libran traits are that I’m diplomatic, prone to melancholy and I love beautiful things.
16. I have champagne taste and a beer pocketbook.
17. My first celebrity infatuation was with Scott Baio.
18. After that I became obsessed with Michael Jackson.
19. I had every inch of free wall space in my bedroom covered with magazine photos of him.
20. I sobbed as I watched his head burning and his stretcher going into the ambulance during the filming of a Pepsi commercial.
21. I just sold Making Michael Jackson's "Thriller" on ebay for $9.99.
22. My mom had saved it since 1988 because she thought it would be worth lots of money. But it was time to let go.
23. My mom will read this list.
24. I am prepared to shock her, but probably can’t.
25. In high school, I was unpopular because I had low self-esteem (or vice-versa, but it doesn’t really matter now, does it?).
26. At age 23, I took Dale Carnegie, and that helped me begin to get over my social anxieties.
27. So did working out.
28. I lost a lot of weight for my wedding.
29. I consumed mostly spaghetti, Progresso vegetable soup, beer and pretzels.
30. My no-fat diet became a vegetarian diet, since all meat contains fat.
31. I smoked Marlboro Light 100s for 12 years.
32. I loved every minute of it.
33. At age 25, I quit smoking and decided to stay a vegetarian for health reasons.
34. I attempted to be a vegan for about five years.
35. I found it hardest to give up eggs, butter, and coffee with half-n-half and sugar.
36. I now eat eggs and butter, and enjoy a creamy, sweet, steaming cup of coffee daily. Life’s too short for unecessary restrictions.
37. Pregnancy rendered me unable to resist hamburgers or steak (just like Phoebe on Friends). I didn’t fight it.
38. I used self-hypnosis, or the “Hypnobirthing Method,” to have both of my babies.
39. I also hired a doula for both births and used a birthing pool for my second son (although the hospital didn't set it up right).
40. It felt like a major accomplishment to have both babies without epidurals, because, since girlhood, giving birth had scared the hell out of me, and I always planned to bribe my doctor to knock me out “the way they used to.”
41. I wouldn’t hesitate to get an epidural if I needed one.
42. I hemorrhaged after each of my sons’ births, meaning I lost A LOT of blood.
43. I breastfed both boys, and loved it.
44. When Ben weaned at 10 months because I was four months pregnant with John, I bawled my head off like a spoiled child for an entire evening, moaning, “I have nothing,” while Brian sat next to me on the couch watching The Amazing Race.
45. After having kids, my self-esteem and social anxiety issues resolved.
46. Now I am too tired to care.
47. I’m not as good of a mom as I thought I would be.
48. Since I am a perfectionist control freak in recovery, that is a good thing.
49. I have nearly 60 cookbooks.
50. I love to cook, but my husband says I “haven’t found my niche.”
51. We’re both still traumatized from the vegan years.
52. I could go back to vegetarianism but my husband couldn’t.
53. Jesus Christ, FlyLady, Dr. Andrew Weil and Julia Cameron have changed my life.
54. I was raised Catholic, declared myself an agnostic when I arrived at college, but went back to the Catholic church soon after.
55. I need to start going to church.
56. I believe Catholic guilt has served me well.
57. Lately, I’ve fallen into a distinct behavioral pattern: three weeks of borderline hyperactive “accomplishing things” followed by six weeks of catatonic sitting, eating and reading.
58. I'd like to be more balanced.
59. I love to discuss political issues, but I hate politics.
60. I support George W. Bush for president.
61. I know you couldn’t care less what I think.
62. A new liberal friend once expressed shock when she learned of my conservative leanings. When I asked her what surprised her so, she said, “Well, you’re a mom, and you buy organic produce.”
63. I explained to her that, not only can conservatives reproduce, they may even desire the life-extending affects of pesticide-free foods.
64. I dislike political correctness.
65. I am against the “Drug War.”
66. I see no reason to discuss my past drug use.
67. I dislike Yahoo’s politically, um, “framed” In the News headlines. (I can provide evidence, it should only take one or two days for them to post an egregious example.)
68. I want to switch from Yahoo mail to gmail.
69. I have yet to score a gmail invite.
70. I have a beautiful blog template that I do not know how to make work in Blogger.
71. I still have to figure out how to put this list in the sidebar where it belongs, and why the numbers show up in Edit Posts and Preview but not here.
72. I will never be one of the cool kids.
73. I once read that the traits we dislike most in others are the ones we need to address most in ourselves.
74. I don’t know if I believe this but I keep it in mind.
75. When I was a girl I dreamt of being a model.
76. My parents just kind of laughed.
77. I’m 5’5’’ tall.
78. I have moussy brown hair that I dyed blonde through college then changed to red at age 25.
79. I’m in a protracted feud with my hair.
80. I’ve always been self-conscious about my looks.
81. I used to think I was vain until I looked it up in dictionary and found out it means “Excessively proud of one's appearance or accomplishments.”
82. I am the opposite of “vain.”
83. I bought a closet’s worth of new clothes last year.
84. Then I started watching What Not to Wear.
85. All my new clothes are against “the rules.”
86. I never know which shoes to buy or wear.
87. Susannah and Trinny are my fashion heroes, and I forgive them for the outfits in What Not to Wear for Every Occasion featuring bizarre hats and feathers, but only because they’re British.
88. I can no longer watch Extreme Makeover.
89. After each episode I would go to the mirror and pull my forehead up, simulating a mini brow lift.
90. I could really use a mini brow lift.
91. But I have seen a recent picture of Marie Osmond.
92. I won’t get a boob job because I fear the effect of implants on a mammogram.
93. I won’t get a nose job because, what if one of my kids develops my nose? What kind of message would that send?
94. Plus, I'm broke.
95. My one gift in the beauty department is my long fingernails.
96. I started painting my nails at age 7 and kept them painted until age 20, when I stopped altogether.
97. Now I paint my nails about twice a year.
98. On both occasions it takes too long, and at least one nail chips within a day.
99. This pisses me off.
100. I can’t afford that added stress.