Pre-ultrasound Jitters

I’ve already said that I hope to have a daughter. Today, we go to Boston for the level 2 ultrasound. We should find out the sex. I’m nervous.

Of course, it’s a different kind of anxiety than the miscarriage fear. I want this baby, no matter what sex. I pray that it’s healthy, and that the rest of the pregnancy and the delivery go smoothly.

Also, though? I want a daughter. If this baby is a boy, then I will most likely never have a daughter. We will probably stop at three kids, and after three boys, the odds of baby four being a girl would probably be slim anyway.

I’m trying to prepare myself, to maintain my perspective on things so I don't get too upset at the sight of a little floating penis on the ultrasound screen. As long as it’s healthy, as long as it’s healthy ...

But if we do see that penis, I will be disappointed. Not devastated, just sad. Then I'll get over it, and start washing the blue and green newborn clothes for round three.

Please think healthy-baby thoughts for me today, OK? And girl thoughts. Man, I’ll be glad when this ultrasound is over!