Tinkerbell Is a Whore

OK, she's not a whore. But didn't she try to poison Wendy because Peter Pan liked Wendy better than her?

Brian took the boys to McDonald’s this weekend, and they got another of those lame Walt Disney figurines. This time, they both got Tinkerbell, and Ben was so mad he wanted to throw it away. But since it goes against every moral code and value of a five year old to throw any toy away, he decided to give it away.

“Why don’t you give it to Isabel?” I asked. She’s our five year old neighbor.

“No, I’m going to give it to a boy,” he said.

“Well, if you don’t like it, what makes you think another boy will?”

An hour or so later he appeared at the kitchen table, Tinkerbell in hand.

“Mom, why is Tinker bell so pretty?”

“I don’t know, why do you think she’s pretty?”

He looked at her for a moment. “Because... her makeup and her wings and her chest and her skirt. That’s why she’s pretty.”

Oh my God, did he just say her chest?!



“So does this mean you want to keep her?”

“Yeah, I’ll keep her in my bedroom.”

“Great.”

For now, any woman that attracts my son with her chest and mini skirt is a whore. Hopefully by the time he reaches high school, I'll be able to handle it with a little more diplomacy.