I’m trying to decide, do I feel more guilty or more pissed off? The thing is, the things pissing me off right now really shouldn’t bother me, so I feel pissed
and guilty. Will my third trimester be one long bout of PMS? Or do I just have a bad attitude? (Rhetorical question, thanks.)
This is one reason I haven’t been blogging much, I don’t want to turn this into http://bitchandcomplain.blogspot.com. But maybe if I get a few things off my chest ...
Things I’m feeling guilty and pissed about:
• Fighting with my husband on the phone while he was at work on Friday. It was one of those annoying fights that we have over and over but it never gets resolved, so it totally could have waited. It had to do with chores and home improvements and, considering my PMS/bad attitude, I should have claimed laryngitis when the topic came up.
• Not wanting my in-laws to come over tomorrow. When it comes to Mother’s Day (and my birthday), I become a selfish monster who wants it to be an All Me, All Day holiday. Instead, I will have to entertain Brian’s grandmother, mom and dad, clean my bathroom, perhaps dust and Windex a few things (plus the obligatory picking up of crap). Plus, Brian was out Friday night and all day today. I could have lied and said we had plans. So I brought this on myself, which really pisses me off.
• Resenting the turkey rollups that Brian’s father is bringing over, even though it’s a gracious thing for him to do. I hate turkey rollups. Maybe I’d like them in a cafeteria, or on the fly during the week. Even then they’d be my last choice. But on Mother’s Day? Ugh. I’m a selfish cow.
Update: My mother-in-law just called. Brian called her this morning from the road, told her he would cook something instead because I don’t like turkey rollups. So she called me to ask, Would I like chicken rollups instead of turkey, since they haven’t gone to the store yet? I told her to just get some ham and that’ll be fine. I couldn’t be obnoxious and admit that it was the whole lunch meat thing I didn’t want. Now I’m even more pissed, plus I'm unreasonable and spoiled.
• Not working out or eating well. Everyday, I say I will resist the chocolate and ice cream. I vow to do a few Keigel’s or go for a walk, maybe even lift a few dumbbells. But every day, it doesn’t happen. Did I mention how fat and dimply I’m getting? My pregnant belly has rolls. Also, I haven’t listened to my hypnobirthing CD. I was supposed to start May 1st.
This pisses me off because the reason I’m not doing these things is:
1. I have no time.
2. When I do have time I have no energy.
3. I need more #@$%#$ help with the household chores and picking up crap! (I know, I know, I hear the violins and, yes, I would like some cheese with that whine. All the cliches apply here.)
4. Chocolate and ice cream just keep appearing in my house. I have no idea how they get here, although I do remember something about a treat for the kids or some such. But of course, I must eat it all myself.
OK, so when available chocolate and ice cream pisses me off, there must be hormones involved. My poor, poor husband. I’m praying that this pregnancy-induced PMS doesn’t last too much longer. And that I get some time to work out, because that may be the only thing that snaps me out of this.
I do feel better having vented, actually. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think there’s some fudgecycles left in the fridge ...
