Monday Morning Hodgepodge

• Ava will turn nine months old next week, and in preparation she spent the last week shedding any remnants of her infant image. She learned to eat Cheerios, clap, wave, say "Dada," pull up on her knees, get up on all fours. She suddenly fits into size 12 months. My mom says she pulled herself up, unassisted, to a standing position, but since Ava already rolled and clapped for my mom before doing it for me, I refuse to believe this claim. Most significantly, she can now inch herself over to her brothers' Imaginext castle across the room. Let the toddler-like harrassment of siblings begin!



• After re-reading this post, I realize it came off kind of harsh. Normally I would have re-read the post and made some changes, but I'm sick of the whole topic and couldn't bring myself to do it. I just want to assure you that during the meeting I maintained perfect calm and decorum. Sure, I had passion. My nostrils may even have flared (because I'm so sexy like that). But really, my humorless, bitchy side didn't take over until I sat down to write.

• I just read an e-mail from Weight Watchers about feeding kids healthy food. No, I've never tried their eating plan, I just get their emails, because getting 3,243 emails every day makes me complete. Here's a quote:

"'I did some research with eight to 12-year-old children and found the major reason they liked going to McDonald's or other fast food joints was not the food, but because their mother was in a good mood because she didn't have to cook,' says Rosemary Stanton, a nutritionist based in Australia."

Oh, I get it. It's not McDonald's fault for filling their foods with trans fats and chemicals. It's mom's fault for being a grouch! Now it all makes sense.

• Speaking of healthy eating, I decided last night that not only did I need a McDonald's binge, I needed a Chinese food binge, too. Pork fried rice, chicken fingers, beef teriyaki, boneless spareribs. Mmmm, delicious, and yet, gross enough to offend my regenerating vegetarian sensibilities.

• I had coffee with my new friend yesterday, and we plan to meet at the GYM tonight. I haven't stepped foot in a gym since 2004. I'm not sure I'll even know what to do: Perhaps declutter their office? Clean their bathrooms? Wipe patrons' butts for them? It'll come back to me, right?

• Posts coming up ASAP about what we really did on St. Patrick's Day (I saved the green spaghetti for tonight) and The MomsTown Guide to Getting It All (it's not quite as bad as I first thought).