In case you haven't heard, Melissa of Suburban Bliss was on the Today show Friday morning. Melissa! On the Today Show!
I was so excited to see her that I didn't give the topic much thought: Moms having cocktails on playdates.
Oooo, so controversial. *Zzzzzz*
When Melissa wrote for Blogging Baby, I once left a comment on a post of hers, disagreeing with her about the safety of cleaning a pacifier with your mouth. If one could have her head ripped off through email, I would be headless right now. Melissa, from what I can tell, does not take crap from anyone. So I knew she wouldn't take flak for having a drink on a playdate, even on the Today Show.
Melissa did a stunning job (you can watch the segment here): she was articulate, composed and smokin' hot. She didn't apologize or concede. She didn't look at Meredith Viera and the ivory tower academic beside her like they had 50 heads and ask them what their freakin problem was. She did, however, mention sometimes wanting to sell her kids on ebay. Brava, Melissa!
Viera, on the other hand, managed to insult me and all mothers. A cofounder of ClubMom, Viera doubted that moms could have a single drink on a playdate without becoming incapacitated and damaging the delicate psyches of their kids. She then took it a step further, equating moms with babysitters.
Would Melissa mind if her babysitter had a drink while working? she asked.
Of course I would, Melissa answered. She's at work.
What's the difference? Viera asked, brows buckled.
Melissa, bless her heart, took the question seriously and explained that babysitters, as hired workers, shouldn't drink on the job.
Viera didn't get it.
Well, Meredith, let me clear this up for you a little bit. When I hire a babysitter, I don't let her drink on the job. I don't let her park my kids in front of the TV, I don't let her drive them all over town, I don't let her feed them candy to shut them up, I don't let her yell at them if they drive her batshit crazy. If I got to know her well, and she became like part of the family, maybe those rules would become more flexible. Otherwise, those are the babysitter rules.
But guess what? I'm not the babysitter, I'm the mom. As such, I do have a drink in front of the kids, and I park them in front of the TV, and drive them all over hell's half-acre, and give them candy to make them stop talking, and scream at them when they push me too far. Yes, it's all true. Call DSS, right away. Send me an email and I'll give you my address. I'm turning myself in.
Also, will you please tell me when NBC will air a segment on dads who drink beer while watching the kids and a football game simultaneously? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Yesterday, I went into Boston with some friends for our 5th annual chocolate brunch. Did you know you can get very buzzed from chocolate? It's true. Moms, look out for that stuff! Anway, I was still pissed off about the Today Show segment and planned to bring it up, since they're all moms.
Try as I did, though, I couldn't mention it. We talked about the triatholons three of the women competed in last year, and the 25 pounds I gained. We talked about our kids, our birth stories, and the Israeli-Palestinian crisis. But I couldn't get myself to mention a TV segment about whether moms should have a cocktail on a playdate.
Back at home, while having a beer with Brian as our kids ran around naked, cold and hungry, I realized why I didn't bring it up: Because it was so stupid.
The entire segment, save for seeing some real moms behaving as real moms do, was stupid. The entire premise, that there is some kind of problem with a mom having a drink in front of her children, made no sense whatsoever.
Not only is the topic too idiotic to bring up among intelligent women, it's also nothing unique. Moms get questioned and doubted all the time by these fake media types, with their looks of concern, worried whether we'll breastfeed or spank or feed organics to our kids.
Normally I don't bother with any of it. And this story was no different: I would never tune in to a segment on such a lame topic.
But I watched to see Melissa. And she, unlike Ms. Viera, didn't disappoint.
16 comments:
You perfectly summed up my own thoughts on the subject! How puritanical do you have to be to not drink in front of your kids?
I was considering posting about this fiasco (on the Today Show side, Melissa was fabulous) but now I don't have to because you said everything I wanted to... but much better than I ever could have. I had forgotten that Meredith was a co-founder of ClubMom. I was so incensed at her attitude during the segment that I am seriously considering a boycott of all things associated with her. Yeah, I'm that ticked off.
Interesting post! You made some great points. I too, indulge in a beer or occasional glass of wine with my children present. I don't see the harm.
I would like to know how many hours Meredith and the "psychologist" spend one-on-one with their children... I bet not many.
What an aggrivating clip!
My thoughts, exactly.
PS - I've always wanted to go to that chocolate extravaganza at the Langham - if it's an annual even t for you and your friends it must be good!
Interesting. I just watched the clip and I didn't find it that aggravating. I've never had an offical "playdate" but I have gone to a friend's house and our kids played while we had a drink or two. I think it's completely fine.
But it didn't sound to me that Merideth was necessarily being harsh, but more of playing devil's advocate in a way, just trying to get Melissa to justify her side more. And I have never read Melissa before, but she did a great job of stating her beliefs.
Nail.
Head.
Bang on!
Go Wonder Mom!
I read Melissa's blog as well so I was exicted to hear she was going to be on the Today show. I was also worried for her because of what they could have turned it into... Worry no more, she took care of herself quite nicely. I think the mom in Encino, CA summed it up when she talked about society trying to point fingers. And like you mentioned, Cris, no one seems to care about the men drinking beers during a game while their kids run amuck. I wish Matt Lauer wasn't on vacation and had done the interview, I bet it would have had a whole different tone. Let's all go have a drink now. Cheers!
Thank you so much for saying that, I'm a new mum and feel so guilty when I want some free time from my baby, I feel guilty for reading a book while he plays with his toys. But he doesn't need all my attention all the time... although I would expect anyone being paid to look after him to do that.
Thanks,
Emma
Right on Kris! I completely agree and wish that moms would stop judging other moms for things like this.
My only problem was when my sister-in-law threw a birthday party for her 1 year old and all the parents drank for the whole afternoon. There was no designated driver who would be driving the kids home. Both parents drank. Rich and I frowned and shook our heads. Neither one of us drink and we were worried about the kids.
I do think that is inappropriate but having one drink and then driving hours later should be ok.
I wrote a very similar post. I did bring it up with my dad (a recovering alcoholic), and he was boggled that it managed to get on TV - it really isn't newsworthy.
As usual the Today show is trying to create a tempest in a teacup. And instead of invoking the tried and true (and very tired) "mommy wars" of SAHM vs. Working (outside the home) Moms, they now pick on moms who want to have ONE glass of wine during a playdate.
This is a NON-ISSUE, Meridith and the Today Show. How about exploring Maternal Profiling (job discrimination against women with children), lack of affordable, quality daycare, Social Security credits for SAHM and other stay at home caregivers, healthcare coverage for children, PPD, etc., etc., etc.
Nope they have to pick a fluff piece on moms and try to create a little (false) controversy.
Today Show - we're tired of it. Give us some REAL stories on important issues that affect moms.
I think everyone would be pretty safe with even TWO whole drinks.
I've been reading lots of posts about this and I have to say that one cool thing about the whole issue is that it's unvieled a lot of really good writing to me. I thought this was a good post on this topic.
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