Something Strange Is Happening

As I read and edit the document that's due today, the letters get all fuzzy and I think my eyes are failing me.

But when I read blogs, suddenly my vision is crystal clear.

Hmm....

Ouch

My brain hurts. Really. Serious pain. I've been on this gnarly writing project for a month now and because of various factors, most beyond my control, I'm in a crunch to finish everything up by tomorrow morning. Although I'm told now that we have until midnight on Monday which, strangely, is not all that comforting.

My stomach hurts, too. All the Advil and coffee and stress have converged in my gut, turning it into a swirling pit of acid, one that doesn't take kindly to having food to digest.

On the one hand, this is good because I haven't gained any weight back, so far. Up until last week, I kept up with the walking, but then the shit hit the keyboard, so to speak.

On the other hand ... ouch.

Things I've learned:

- If a client tells you that most of the research is done and you just need to plop information into a template -- easy peasy! -- don't believe it.

-- If you tell yourself the second 15-page document will be easier because you learned so much writing the first one, don't believe it.

-- If I tell you, my dear sweet readers, that I will post pictures, memes, reviews and DotMom entries while on a monster writing project, don't believe that, either.

Right now I feel like I'm in a nightmare, and the month of April is really NEVER GOING TO END. All prayers accepted. May's coming, right?

Updated: After I wrote this last night I uploaded some pictures. They're from Easter weekend, which now seems like 8 million years ago.

I took a break from working to make cookies with the kids.

Decorating cookies is serious business.


Looks good enough to eat.


Careful, there. Don't drop it!


We left our masterpieces on a tray on the stove. See the ones hanging off the edge?


When Ava woke up from her nap, it took her three seconds to notice the tray, run to it, grab a cookie and jam half of it in her mouth. No, honey, I'm not going to take it away from you. Stop looking at me like that.

Salad Days (the end of my)

I’m not a salad person. As a side dish, they’re fine, but as a main dish? Deprivation on a plate.

Last month I created a salad I like based on the recipes in YOU: On a Diet. The first time I ate it, I marveled at how satisfied I felt. I even mentioned it to Brian. My mother, the dear woman, has watched without comment as I wolfed down this salad like a Survivor contestant winning a food reward.

Here’s what’s in it: romaine lettuce, feta cheese, walnuts, raisins, and oil and vinegar dressing. Nothing fancy, and yet ... Sweet! Salty! Savory, creamy and crunchy! It’s healthy, but most important, it’s filling.

This salad was so filling and satisfying that I almost posted about it just as a public service. “Attention: Salad can fulfill. No loaf of bread required!”

Monday night, as I sat hunched over my bowl, shoveling walnuts and raisins into my mouth while my just-arrived relative wondered when I might feed her, a phrase popped into my head:

Serves two.

After weeks of scarfing this salad like a pig at the trough, I realized the amount of raisins, feta, walnuts and salad dressing allowed in the book were for two people. Hence the satisfaction.

Head hung low, I plodded over to the kitchen and checked the recipe. It confirmed my fears: Two servings.

Oh, but there’s more. The next night, as I dutifully prepared frozen sugar snap peas for the microwave, I used the same tiny cup I’d measured my salad dressing in to measure some water. That’s when I noticed that the left side measures tablespoons, not teaspoons.

So. The next time you feel unimpressed with your own mental acuity, remember me. Doing oh so well on my diet, eating two entire adult-sized meals in one sitting with six times the allowed amount of fatty salad dressing.

Compared to me you are, no doubt, brilliant.

The Good, the Bad and the Overworked

Good: I’m walking two miles a day.
Bad: After 10+ weeks of physical therapy last fall to banish the pain in my side, my hip started killing me. It has been hurting since January, despite lots of stretching, ice and Advil.

Good: In reality, my hip probably won’t kill me.
Bad: I have to go back to physical therapy AGAIN.

Good: I have a car and health insurance and child care so I can go to PT, plus a talented physical therapist.
Bad: I’m scared it won’t work.

Good: I gained two more pounds after writing this post, but now appear to be an official loser. (I still haven't tried those jeans on again, as I am still traumatized by how tight they were.)
Bad: However, it’s hard to tell if I'm a loser since I lose or gain anywhere from zero to five pounds every 24 hours. The hell?

Good: I’m eating YOU-approved meals and snacks.
Bad: Except for evening transgressions, of which there are many.

Good: I haven’t experienced one iota of hunger.
Bad: Did I mention the transgressions?

Good: I got a writing project for April!
Bad: Holy crap, I’ve got a writing project due in April!

Good: The project pays well and is with a company doing great things for health care.
Bad: Every single solitary moment that Brian's not working, I will be.

Good: I can still have fun reading blogs and writing here when I’m not working.
Bad: I will always be working.

Good: I will not completely abandon ship. I’ve got a meme and some reviews to post soon and -- wait for it! -- some photos.
Bad: Memes, reviews, photos ... pretty lame, huh? The sad part is, I won’t even have time to write those things.

Good: But I will, for you. I'll update my Random Favorites and DotMoms Favorites too. Because I care.

Please don’t forget about me. I’ll be back in May, and will post the occasional review/meme/DotMom post/photos in the meantime.