Ritual

When Ben was about 2 or 3, we started a goodbye/good-night ritual of giving a kiss, a hug and a high five. I think I started it because he always had a tough time saying goodbye to me. Even today, at 7 1/2, he's the one to come running across the house when I'm leaving, to give me a kiss, a hug and a high five. Although I don't get the full treatment at the school crosswalk anymore. He's too cool for that.

My six year old, John, has one of those minds that's always counting, measuring, comparing, listing, wondering... thinking. Which explains the patterned, highly choreographed goodnight ritual he has come up with.

First, we hug, with him standing on his bed, me standing on the floor. Often, we'll stand there for a few minutes, just hugging, me rubbing his back and enjoying his stillness. John is otherwise never still, unless he's asleep.

After that, he kisses my cheek, then I kiss both of his cheeks. I've taken to grabbing his head in my hands when I do this, like I imagine an Italian grandmother might do it.

Next comes my favorite part: John kisses my left hand, then my right. I'm not sure where he got this from, but it's very old-fashioned and sweet.

Then he holds up his hand, I give him a high five, and he jumps up in the air and falls to his bed in a heap. He springs back up and I hold up my hand and wince. He likes to try and take my hand off when he gives high fives. He hits my hand, falls to his knees to great effect, then stands and smacks my hand again, leaps into the air, does a 180 and crashes onto his pillow. Then I have to "spread his blankies all out," and believe you me, it must be perfect, otherwise I will hear about it until it is. In a battle of wills over the spreading out of John's blankies, John ALWAYS wins.

He likes to mix up the sequence of this little ritual. To keep me on my toes and to make sure I know he's in charge, I guess. It can get quite annoying, when I go in to kiss his cheek and he says, "No! Hug me now," and the next night I go to hug him and he says, "No, me first!" It would be really annoying if it wasn't so damned cute.

I'm just glad he never wanted to carry the whole thing out at the school crosswalk. Even the hand kissing wouldn't have made that bearable.